On Anxiety in the Marriage

Marriage can bring about some unexpected feelings and experiences. Anxiety happens to be one of those. Have you ever experienced nervousness or feelings of tension when your spouse is around, and a sense of relief when they are not there? This is understandably common in abusive relationships. However, what about the instances in which your spouse is not abusive? What about when you know that your partner has the best intentions for you; yet they make you… uneasy? Well, the pink elephant in the room may be more related to your perceptions of yourself, which your partner (often unintentionally) forces you to face. What do I mean? Well, if you are unhappy about the state where you are in your life, any question about your progress may cause you to cringe. If your significant others asks about such things (even conversationally), it can cause you to automatically feel defensive, because it makes you feel bad about yourself. If you feel as though you should be accomplishing more/ getting more things done in the home and your mate comes home before you finish, your discomfort may have more to do with feelings of guilt than him or her being an unreasonable tyrant. How do you feel about yourself? Were you more content when you were single because there was no one there to call you out on your “stuff?” If so, what should you do? I challenge you to double down on who YOU WANT to be and feel proud of yourself by accomplishing YOUR goals. And watch the impact that has on the anxiety you feel within your marriage. *Again, this does not apply to relationships in which the partner is actually abusive; but to those instances in which you “can’t put your finger on why they make you feel nervous.”

Wishing you Wellness!